Middle-Earth Fanfiction Awards

Dinner Guests

Author: Salsify

Nominator: unknown

2004 Award Category: Races: Elves: Vignette - Third Place

Story Type: Other Fiction : Length: unknown
Rating: PG-13 -- Reason for Rating: black humour
Summary: The first official meeting of Elves and Dwarves, or, the importance of a well-planned menu in diplomacy. Some black humor from the days when the Elves were still just thinking about becoming wise.


Review scores are not available for 2004.

Reviewed by: Ainaechoiriel -- Score: N/A

Oh, my goodness! I must have slipped right by that quote in The Silmarillion. The Elves hunted them! Well, if I ever read it again after this little story, I won't be able to slip right by. Oh dear! And I mean that in a good way! Black humor, indeed!

Reviewed by: Marta -- Score: N/A

This was the first story I ever read written from an Elf's POV, and the first not based in the end of the Third Age. I still chuckle to think of it. When I first read I hadn't read _The Silmarillion_, and the fact that I was able to follow the story is a testament to Salsify's skill as an author. I was smiling throughout, so real was the characterization of the Elves, and when I finally understood what was going on, I laughed out loud. It was just as good on rereading. Well done, Salsify!

Reviewed by: Thundera Tiger -- Score: N/A

Deliciously humorous and wonderfully twisted. Oh, I felt so sorry for the dwarves in this tale. The idea is such a good one, and though I had an idea as to what was eventually coming, the ending still managed to surprise and delight me. Definitely a testament to very good pacing and over all excellent story telling. Dark humor doesn't get much better than this.

Reviewed by: Dwimordene -- Score: N/A

Without meaning anything derisory, this is what happens when an element from "Planet of the Apes" meets an underexamined line in the Silmarillion. As in the former, so in this story, one has to ask how it is possible not to know that we're dealing with a speaking people, but Salsify fortunately includes that question in the story itself (even if it's one that can't be answered, at least the protagonists can ask it). I think it's a tribute to the story that I feel vaguely nauseated on Pharassion's behalf. Anyhow, this is a clever bit of tale-building around one line; it may not be a full course meal, as it were,, but when you're reading it, you'll feel a rather delicious chill, I think. I commend the author for her restraint (this could've been so much gorier and, I think, the worse for it) and for being willing to take this plot and run with it.

Reviewed by: Sulriel -- Score: N/A

Fabulous use of canon wordplay.

Reviewed by: Ellbee -- Score: N/A

I haven't finished The Silmarillion (and perhaps never will) so I don't usually read Silm-fic, but this had me rolling. Love it!