The Silmarillion Gospel

Author: Araloth the Random

Nominator: elfscribe

2010 Award Category: Genres: Humor: Incomplete

Story Type: Incomplete  ✧  Length: Short Story

Rating: Teen  ✧  Reason for Rating: Mild references to drug use, mild profanity.

Summary: What happens when a group of clueless fangirls try to "translate" the Silmarillion into Biblical English? Utter chaos, of course!(About 30% finished at this point, but will eventually be completed to cover the entire Silmarillion.)

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Reviewed by: elfscribe  ✧  Score: 9

Whenever I'm too deeply immersed in Seriousness, I enjoy finding a writer who has a gift for a light touch. This fic is a laugh out loud parody that lovingly pokes fun at the language and mythology of the Silmarillion (which I adore, don't get me wrong, but all things that art grandly serious doth benefit from a little ribbing). I love the idea that Elrond has instructed fangirls to study the Silmarillion in order to write fanfiction. Unfortunately for Elrond, but fortunately for us, they end up re-interpreting it in their own unique way, complete with a humorous juxtaposition of contemporary slang and biblical sounding language, so that we get such gems as Morgoth, the Divine Gangster Dude composing Rap which then clasheth with the Great Opera of the Ainur. [And thus the Ainur discovered that Rap and Baroque are not compatible themes of Music. And Iluvatar, being highly cheesed off, saith unto Melkor, “Tut tut. Thou naughty knave.”] And actually, you know, this is not a bad interpretation of what happened. I really enjoyed Araloth's characterizations of the Valar. [But Tulkas being mightily pissed ran after Melkor, shouting, "I am angry! Ha ha ha haa! And when I'm angry I doth laugh! Ha ha ha haa! . . . And Melkor being mightily freaked out saith unto himself, "Holy socks"] Also giggled at the occasional swipe at the magical aspects of the mythology, for example, when talking about the Lamps: ["Ask thou not how the heck this doth work. Accept the word of the Mighty Professor Tolkien, Lord of Oxford, and question not his Righteous Awesomeness."] This is still a work in progress and I look forward to the rest of the fangirls' unique interpretations such as this one: [But Aulë in his smart-arsey-ness saith unto his wife: "That is what thou gettest for making weed."] Thanks for tickling this fangirl's funny bone.

Reviewed by: Virtuella  ✧  Score: 4

This is a vastly amusing parody that made me laugh out lout. Araloth the Random puts her finger on many details of Tolkien canon that are, on close inspection, a little strange, but the funniest aspect of this fic is the tone. The incongrunet clash of to very different registers, the high archaic pathos reminiscent of the Silmarillion and the Bible and the casual jargon of teenagers, is what gives this story its great entertainment value. I enjoyed reading this very much and am hoping there will be more chapters to follow.

Reviewed by: Raksha the Demon  ✧  Score: 4

An excellent read for a rainy day. Or a depressing day. Or a stressful day. Or any day at all, really. I love the Silm, but its high-handed narration can bog down the action sometimes, especially in the pre-First Age sections. Araloth brilliantly rewrites parts of the Silm in pseudo-Biblical style, with many sly asides and fun-poking. A humorous treat to be savored and, hopefully, finished. Highly recommended for Silm-fans and other Tolkien aficionados who want a good laugh, or several good laughs.

Reviewed by: Larner  ✧  Score: 3

Parodies such as this can be overdone or just plain stupid; I am SO glad that this one works, and works well! The play on the stilted language of the King James translation of the Bible coupled with modern anachronistic comments at judicious moments is perfect for eliciting a good belly laugh! Definitely a good read when you want something decidedly light!