Those Singing Silmarils

Author: Alassante

Nominator: Peredhil lover

2009 Award Category: Genres: Humor - Third Place

Story Type: Story  ✧  Length: Ficlet Series

Rating: General  ✧  Reason for Rating: N/A

Summary: The greatest creations of all times have their say about their current situation.(Single-Triple Drabble series)

Read the Story

Reviewed by: Elleth  ✧  Score: 7

The (mis)fortunes of the three Silmarils captured in a brilliant triptych of ficlets - one at the bottom of the sea, one lost in the fires of the earth, and the last one in the airs of heaven. Nice and orderly and canonical so far -- but there are things that Tolkien did keep from us... in fact the greatest creations of all time are rather more apt to behave like siblings vying for some prime position, and of course sitting on Earendil's brow is more comfortable than the other two. Being graceful about it? Of course not. Heh. No, not these blings. Somehow this review doesn't quite reflect my level of enjoyment. Convincing Silmarillion humour is rather hard to come by anyway, and Alassante did something very right here. A story that mainly draws its humour from the unexpected behaviour of its protagonists should be significantly less funny after the first read. It isn't. To sum up: Shiny! (And yes, this lame pun was completely intended.)

Reviewed by: Imhiriel  ✧  Score: 6

This story might induce whiplash, the way it goes from sublime and lofty prose down to sarcastic and straightforward language, not to mention at times profane. I love the down-to-earth voices of the Silmarils as they contrast the ideals of their reverent creation and worshipped ideals with their actual fates. Considering the irreverent tone and sarcastic bent of the story, there is quite a bit of canonical detail tucked into it, very cleverly used to further the humour ["I lost a lot of respect for him when he screamed like a girl over a spider. Seriously."]). Great timing, good pacing. The humour is deliciously dark and dead-pan, mixed in with some ribald lines to vary it. The voices of the three PoV-characters are strong, brisk and engaging; and very reminiscent of squabbling, petty sisters trying to one-up one another. And the ending is absolutely priceless, and summarises the tone of the story in a nutshell.

Reviewed by: Thundera Tiger  ✧  Score: 5

So the first drabble comes along, and it begins with grand and glorious language, praising the wonder and beauty and radiance of the Silmaril. And then the last line is thrown out so callously and candidly that I couldn't help but laugh. Then I read the second drabble, with its more modern tone and frank look at life, and the laughter grew. And to think we owe it all to the fact that a ["one-handed nitwit thought he could fly"]. The third drabble continues the more modern tone, and the opening lines here made me collapse into giggles. The petty, overly-competitive Silmaril up on Vingilot is perfectly suited for a more modern tone, and I especially enjoyed its parting lines. Well done!

Reviewed by: Peredhil lover  ✧  Score: 4

This series of three short pieces focusing on the fates of those poor, unfortunate, mistreated silmarils (well, two are unfortunate, and the third is just gloating), is hilariously funny and had me smiling and giggling all the way through. Alassante does a very effective job of really getting into the ‘minds’ of those silmarils and making us see things from their perspective, while keeping us laughing the whole time. Very well done!

Reviewed by: stefaniab  ✧  Score: 4

Goodness gracious, this ficlet series is silly and fun. Alassante tells us of the final fates of the Silmarils--in their own words. And would you believe it, those jewels are a trio of divas. (Feanor's Child, maybe?) I suppose it's to be expected, given how they were coveted and stolen, and how elves and men died over them. But who knew they'd carry to eternity post modern "'tude? A good chuckle, especially for Silmarillion fans.

Reviewed by: Raksha the Demon  ✧  Score: 3

An inspired and original (as far as any Tolkien fanfic is original) humor piece - the three Silmarils comment on their fates. I love it that although they are sentient, the three imperishable Tree-light-filled beauties are a trio of squabbling, one-upping sisters. Engaging and funny!

Reviewed by: Súlriel  ✧  Score: 3

[Neener neener] I still giggle ever time I read this. I think I actually choked myself laughing and trying to breath at the same time the first time I read this series. It's priceless as the gems themselves. Its irreverent humor is perfectly balanced with hidden depth and layers that wonderfully reflects the tragic story of the jewels.

Reviewed by: Aeärwen  ✧  Score: 3

I think that if the Silmarilli were to have voices, that Alassante has captured those voices very deftly. The final statement of the last Silmaril - the one sailing the sky - is absolutely priceless and never fails to get me giggling. I love how, no matter how short the story, it is still possible to make a huge impression. I love this trio of narratives.

Reviewed by: Red Lasbelin  ✧  Score: 3

Oh, I liked this! Such a lovely spot of humour - shades of dark after all they've been through, but just damn funny. The first and last one had the best touches I think. Definitely a good read if you want a laugh about the Silmarils. Humour nicely done.

Reviewed by: Linda Hoyland  ✧  Score: 3

These delightfully amusing drabbles still have the power to make me smile even after repeated readings.What a lovely idea that the Simarils were sentient and able to reflect of on their very different fates!

Reviewed by: Scarlet10   ✧  Score: 3

Sweet Elbereth, if these three beauties don't sound like something between Cinderella's spoiled sisters and some character from the Glee club 2009 (TV series). I laughed reading these POV's and I love this triplet.

Reviewed by: Lissa  ✧  Score: 3

Fëanor's coveted Silmarils aren't usually a laughing matter - except in this story. *g* The third in the series is particularly funny; I can't even pick out a favourite line, there's simply too many goodies to choose from. Well done!

Reviewed by: Robinka  ✧  Score: 2

Absolutely, these three drabbles are gems! Alassante has captured the voices of the Silmarilis in the most hilarious and original way. Bravo!

Reviewed by: Nieriel Raina  ✧  Score: 2

What a hilarious set of short stories about the Silmarils. I absolutely loved each one, though the final one simply takes the cake. Brilliant!

Reviewed by: dapperscavenger  ✧  Score: 2

Giggling! I am giggling SO hard after reading these three erm... charming... little insights into the 'thoughts' of the silmarils. They each have a lot to say in so few words!

Reviewed by: Larner  ✧  Score: 2

A humourous look at the thoughts of each of the Silmarils as it contemplates all life has done for it! Hilarious! And love the final words of the last Silmaril toward its fellows!

Reviewed by: whitewave  ✧  Score: 1

A very funny three-part (LOL) saga of the fate of Feanor's precious Silmarils.