Author: Aranel Took

Nominator: Aranel Took

2008 Award Category: Races: Dwarves: Drabbles - Second Place

Story Type: Fixed-Length Ficlet  ✧  Length: True Drabble

Rating: Teen  ✧  Reason for Rating: Mild sexual innuendo.

Summary: Dwarven pick-up lines!(100 words. Challenge: the drabble had to use the words device, fire, freedom, forge.)

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Reviewed by: nancylea  ✧  Score: 10

ahh, my famous babble about drabble act: i'm going to apply for the copyright one of these days. with this as a pickup line the world needs to be thankful that some women are adventurers. of course he may end up with only a necklace to show for this night. wouldn't that hurt the ego? aranel, some people spend twice as many words (at a guess) in setting up their work and twice as much again explaining how and where from/to they were going; you have exactly one hundred words that you set the scene, lured the victim, and sprung the trap. no wasting time dibbling and dabbling around the edges, you went right in and caught us by our short fuzzy foot hairs (where were you thinking those hairs were again) and dragged us to the end. now in a politically correct manner you are letting our imaginations take us to the finish line. wonder who else is betting on a necklace? (people who know me think that the pod people have visited, it was actually the stepford husbands that dropped by for a visit. now i have all these pretty pastel sweater sets and a really classy pearl choker. oh i'm so lucky.) have you considered writing her side of the little drama as a follow up act. or maybe give us a view of her plot to get him to utter his best speech?

Reviewed by: Thundera Tiger  ✧  Score: 5

Oh, so THAT'S what the dwarves are calling it nowadays. Good to know. Ah, nothing like a bit of dwarven impropriety to make one smile. Anyway, very clever! I love the way this plays on current conventions to make a tale that is very dwarven (the fire stoking in the forge was a great tidbit) but also very, very understandable. I have no doubt but what Gloin isn't the only dwarf taking advantage of parental absences. I guess when it comes down to it, youth is always youth. And kudos for taking the time to share with us a remarkable depiction of a young Gloin.

Reviewed by: Tanaqui  ✧  Score: 5

Aranel Took has created a quite delightful drabble in this clever piece based on a challenge to use four specified words. She has produced a tale of Dwarven courting customs that is highly amusing, with witty use of subtle innuendo. While Aranel's intent here is clearly light-hearted, she still delivers writing with a strong Dwarven flavour, despite the fact we have next to no canonical information regarding the subject. There are never enough stories written about Dwarves, so it's a particular pleasure to encounter such a well written one. Very nicely done -- bravo!

Reviewed by: Marta  ✧  Score: 5

Oh, this was cute! As a lover of puns and limericks, obviously the word play was fun, but I loved even more the way that the dwarves were portrayed. Particularly the original character of Gloin's lady-love; she has a quality about her that is more forward than one would expect of a Gondorian or elf or even a hobbit, yet there is still a playfulness to her, a coyness that acknowledges the risque-ness of their meeting without making it an entirely shameful thing. A very enjoyable moment, and very dwarven through and through. Oh, and as a P.S. - gotta love her beard. *g* That was pure gold.

Reviewed by: Dwimordene  ✧  Score: 4

Oh dear. Classic bad pick up line, and even the spouter thereof knows it! I suppose if the attraction is mutual, it really doesn't matter, and even if Glóin is not the most creative of seducers when it comes to inviting a girl over, he does seem to have the eye: he managed to fall for someone who would take him up on it, bad line and all. Although, given the metaphoricity of hammers, I do have to wonder whether [stoked the fire in the forge] doesn't have some other than literal meaning...

Reviewed by: Nieriel Raina  ✧  Score: 3

Very nice. We don't see many dwarf romance fics or even drabbles. The use of a hammer as an euphemism was humorous. And I liked that she was feminine even with her beard. I liked this a lot. Great job!

Reviewed by: mbumpus_99  ✧  Score: 3

We see so very little about dwarves - especially of the female persuasion - that this is a very welcome discovery. Just enough information is given to leave the reader to understand exactly what is meant without overburdening the drabble. Nicely done!

Reviewed by: Imhiriel  ✧  Score: 3

Naughty! And yet there is a feeling of innocence in this drabble, as two young Dwarves take their first uncertain steps into flirting and romance. The characterisations are to the point and vivid, with some telling details. And I like the compare-and-contrast: "customs" that are only too well-known in today's culture in a Dwarven context.

Reviewed by: Keiliss  ✧  Score: 3

Ha! Nothing to choose between any of them, Men, Elves, Dwarves (and probably Orcs, Ents, Trolls…) The male of the species always comes along with an utterly cringeworthy pick up line, and the female thinks about it, smiles, and decides that, yes, he’s cute, may as well let him get away with it. Nice touch, the mention of her beard.

Reviewed by: dkpalaska  ✧  Score: 3

Oh, my! Bad pick-up lines abound even in Middle-earth! Aranel Took's drabble is a very funny and delightful tete-a-tete setup. The characterizations are wonderful, all "show, not tell"; the would-be girlfriend's response to the narrator's invitation is priceless.

Reviewed by: viv  ✧  Score: 3

Oh, what fun! You know, the way you've depicted Gloin's hottie, she's still adorable even with the beard. Thank you for that. I love reading about dwarves, even when they express the dopiest pick-up lines in the book.

Reviewed by: Isabeau of Greenlea  ✧  Score: 2

Where do little dwarves come from? From illicit house parties when the folks are away, apparently. A cute drabble with an all-too-predictable dwarven pickup line.

Reviewed by: Larner  ✧  Score: 2

So--even Dwarves have pick-up lines? Obviously she is willing! Hee! Nice glimpse of Dwarvish courtship!

Reviewed by: Dreamflower  ✧  Score: 2

Cute and a little raunchy without being graphic. I hope Gimli doesn't read this though...no one likes to think about their parents "that way".

Reviewed by: Nancy Brooke  ✧  Score: 1

It's always fun to see things in new ways!

Reviewed by: Súlriel  ✧  Score: 1

HAHA! Delightful fun and wonderfully in character. Well done!

Reviewed by: agape4gondor  ✧  Score: 1

Absolutely hysterical. A 'new' pick-up line!