Elrohir's Elf Book - Part One

Author: Darth Fingon

Nominator: whitewave

2009 Award Category: Races: Elves: Incomplete - Honorable Mention

Story Type: Incomplete  ✧  Length: Short Story

Rating: General  ✧  Reason for Rating: N/A

Summary: This is a book about Elves: the kinds of Elves you see and how to identify them.(This is the first chapter of what should eventually be several)

Read the Story

Reviewed by: pandemonium_213  ✧  Score: 6

Elrohir provides the definitive natural history of the Noldor in this first installment of his [Elf Book]. This manual, which already has sent archrival Roger Tory Peterson into a garrulous fit of envy, expertly catalogs the defining traits of this well-known sub-class of Elves. Using this handy field guide, the intrepid elf-watcher should be able to identify various types of Noldor in their natural habitats, whether these are stone cities on hills, constructed mostly marble or limestone, or in supermarkets where they may be found stalking their prey, e.g., melba toast and Kraft dinners. Elrohir also provides an authoritative analysis of Noldorin genetics and makes special note of the high degree of penetrance of Noldorin alleles, which are always dominant. Famous Noldor are also described. This field guide is a must for any serious elf-watcher.

Reviewed by: dapperscavenger  ✧  Score: 4

There are just too many good parts to this, I couldn't possibly list them all without copy-pasting the whole thing! Erestor DOES look like an egret? How have I never noticed this before? All pointy-faced! And, OMG, where can I get one of those calenders? I loved the history section. The way it was written was just perfect - exactly like a what you'd expect from a kid who only half-understands his homework. Overall Fantastic and when can we see the next part?!

Reviewed by: Virtuella  ✧  Score: 4

This is very funny indeed. It amused me greatly to think that Noldorin elves have idiosycratic hi-lighter tastes. Even better is your take on Noldorin genetics. Mendel would be proud of your diagrams. The list of "prey" also made me laugh. I like how the whole thing is written in a style like a school child's project. I can just about imagine an adolescent Elrohir sweating over this! Thaks for a very entertaining read.

Reviewed by: Raksha the Demon  ✧  Score: 4

One - this story should come with a Beverage Warning. Reading it will cause the reader to spit up beverages onto the keyboard or monitor; it is that funny. Two - would be worth it if only for the following lines: [Noldor love towers. But they can also be found in mines, smithies, jewellery workshops, particle accelerator labs, and any place that allows them to explode things and turn things into other things.] Very funny, a must read for aficionados of Elven humor; and here, Darth Fingon makes the case that there were humorous aspects to the First Age if one knows where to look...

Reviewed by: Larner  ✧  Score: 4

What a delightful, wickedly irreverent look at Elves particularly the Noldor! Have been giggling madly! I can so see getting something like this from some of the students I've had. Elrohir's characterization of Erestor as perhaps the last remaing purebred Noldo in Middle Earth and his dedication to his Hiliters is delightful! Definitely a tale to read for some well-enjoyed chuckles!

Reviewed by: Scarlet10   ✧  Score: 4

Hehe, this is just great. Hilarious, funny. Seriously :-P, this is a real source of information if you need to do some research about the Noldor. It covers the basics, (look, location, etc) and goes deeper to covering history, job opportunity, preferred food, etc. Really, a highly praised academic paper. I just loved this piece. couldn't stop laughing. Hopefully, the next chapter will be as funny as this one.

Reviewed by: Lissa  ✧  Score: 4

Summary in one word: hilarious! This (very copyrighted) paper on Noldorin Elves provides many little known facts (several of which seem to relate to Erestor, probably because he is the only remaining purebred specimen). The demonstration of Noldorin Genetics also explain so much - in fact it's amazing what science will prove if you really, really want it to. I was, however, disappointed to learn that the Noldor have become an endangered species after millenia of irresponsible mating. Tsk-tsk!

Reviewed by: whitewave  ✧  Score: 3

Extremely entertaining that it should come with a beverage/food warning or disclaimer. Here Darth Fingon showcases my favorite Elven kindred, the ever proud and dignified Noldor. Witty, fun and does not fail to put a smile on one's face, even on the fourth or fifth reading. Highly recommended to chase away the blues.

Reviewed by: Clodia  ✧  Score: 3

This is hilarious! I love the Terribly Serious Silmarillion details so lightly evoked, and especially the explanation of Noldorism as a dominant gene. That certainly explains why so many Elves with such complicated heritages tend to be described as 'Noldor'. The 'Quick Facts' bit is lovely.

Reviewed by: crowdaughter  ✧  Score: 3

Hilarious and funny, and pretty well working for an essay written by Elladan about his noble race of choice. One wonders how he will describe the other Elves factions.. very well done!

Reviewed by: SurgicalSteel  ✧  Score: 2

This was thoroughly enjoyable and absolutely hilarious. I hope this is continued at some point!