And Then There Was Cake, or Begetting Day Horrors

Author: Klose

Nominator: Dawn Felagund

2008 Award Category: Races: Elves: Family - First Place

Story Type: Story  ✧  Length: Other Ficlet

Rating: Teen  ✧  Reason for Rating: The story contains some sexual humour/innuendo and possibly offensive language (but no real 'swear' words) - nothing too explicit or risque though, I should think.

Summary: A little ficlet in which Maedhros muses on the frivolous affair that is the Begetting Day Celebration. Features pile-ups, embarassing relatives, and of course - cake.

Read the Story


Reviewed by: Dawn Felagund  ✧  Score: 10

Raucous Feanorians, too much wine, and a second-person point-of-view ... what's there not to love? "Begetting Day Horrors" is one of my favorite Silmarillion humor stories. I laugh out loud every time I reread it! The story combines Elven traditions with familiar modern-day conventions, giving it a ring of truth that I think that anyone who has ever attended a family birthday party can appreciate, and it mines the familiar Finwion family circus for all of its humorous worth. The story starts dreamily, languidly, as Maedhros passes through the hallways of the palatial paternal home, and it quickly escalates into a whirlwind of begetting-day horrors, much like the "pile up" instigated by Celegorm. Klose touches on just about every Finwion relationship of note--the "friendship" between Aredhel and Celegorm, the bitterness between the Feanor and Fingolfin, Caranthir's dislike of the sons of Finarfin--as well as the quirks of the individual characters: Feanor's obsession with his virility (and Galadriel's hair), Maglor's musical talents, and the twins' ... "fragrance." All of this, by story's end, would make me quite sorry for Maedhros. If I wasn't laughing so hard, that is.

Reviewed by: Alassante  ✧  Score: 6

This is a cute little fiction about Maedhros' Begetting Day Celebration. Considering the Feanorian family, you can only imagine how this disfunctional group could have an eventful and hilarious celebration or event. This is the type of people that you would want to go and be a part of their celebration however you probably would not want to be related to them. And I'm sure that alot of people can relate to that. *ahem* I loved the way Klose had little tidbits that made you laugh outloud such as saying Maedhros was referred to as 'You bloody bastard' by the fathers of the local ladies! haha Overall this is a great story and makes you realize that despite all the kinslaying and whatnot they weren't always all bad, just similar to a family off the Jerry Springer show.

Reviewed by: Angelica  ✧  Score: 6

This is a thoroughly enjoyable and really very funny description of what a birthday party must have been like in the golden days of Valinor. It is full of delightful details that enrich the overall scene: I choose - among many others - the presents Maitimo feels his cousins would have liked to receive [ridiculous objects depicting certain parts of the female anatomy] instead of the carefully chosen books and jewelry he presents them with. All the characters play their expected role: from Makalaure singing bawdy songs to Aredhel and Tyelkormo getting a bit too close, to the twins spilling the punch bowl. And of course, the drunken brawl between Feanaro and Nolofinwe. I can't help thinking that this story strikes a chord with mostly everybody because not too many of us can claim not to have an outrageous relative around at birthday parties.

Reviewed by: whitewave  ✧  Score: 6

I've read this before and have just read it again and I enjoyed it both times. But before I start I must tell you that I am quite partial to the Feanorians, especially for Maitimo. I thought that the "you bloody bastard" line was most promising the first time I read it and I wasn't disappointed. I also like the unique POV and the banter and the humiliation suffered by our intrepid Maitimo--the "fragrant" pile-up was priceless! I relish any scene involving any silly domestic scene about the Feanorians and this one is at the top of my list. I have so many favorite lines and I might end up quoting the entire thing, except the adverbs and the articles perhaps, but forcing myself to choose a favorite line, this is what I came up with: ["If ever there was an elf of greater vanity than yourself, it would be Tyelkormo. Even if it was you who inherited the superior good looks of the family."] The best take-away "image" is the one where Feanor is loudly singing his son's Begetting Day song and the "phallic symbol" cake. Thanks for sharing this!

Reviewed by: Oshun  ✧  Score: 6

This is a perfectly silly and tongue-in-cheek an account of a gathering of a particularly boisterous group of young people with very strong egos. It reeks of testosterone and adolescence. And has clearly been written by a writer who has a keen eye for the humor to be found in the extended family setting. Coming from a large family myself, and liking to write about the experience, is only one of the things that has drawn me to this particular set of characters. The Finwëans provide open hunting season for tracking down a multitude of ways of dealing with these dynamics, whether the stories that result are merely tempered with humor and have a serious base or, as in the case of this story, the writer has pulled out all the stops. Nice work. Although I have to admit it made me cringe at point! Boys are just so nasty.

Reviewed by: Thundera Tiger  ✧  Score: 4

This story has a suspicious voice-of-experience ring to it. And while reading it, I was drawn back to a few of my own birthday horrors. There's probably some karmic balance that insists on leveling the celebratory score with some truly remarkable disasters. In this story, I particularly liked the thought of embarrassing relatives, and I can easily imagine Feanor being among the worst of the bunch.

Reviewed by: crowdaughter  ✧  Score: 4

*Snort* Ouch, poor Maitimo! The various indignities suffered by him through this family party seem all too familiar to some of us. Relatives are those lovely people you have to endure even when they are acting rather embarrassing, and this tale shows us that not even the highest of the Noldor are immune to that particular truth. Maybe even less immune than others... Very funny tale, very well done. Thank you for writing and sharing!

Reviewed by: Moreth  ✧  Score: 4

Bad songs, too much alcohol and (horror of horrors) relatives! Klose has written a highly entertaining account of just how embarassing Maedhros's birthday party might have been... but at least there was cake! (Although perhaps the additional adornment on that didn't help very much...) Thoroughly amusing (and really very silly), this story is just fun to read!

Reviewed by: Rhapsody  ✧  Score: 4

Oh my goodness, poor Maedhros and to be born in such a family. I can see him explaining to an outsider why he would seek out utter loneliness after experiencing this year after year, being piled on out of affection by his brothers. I loved the humorous descriptions of his family members and who would have thought that the often portrayed as being taciturn Turgon would do such a thing. This is a wonderfully written ficlet, good for a dozen volleys of laughter.

Reviewed by: Robinka  ✧  Score: 3

A truly hilarious vignette featuring Maitimo, who is about to celebrate his begetting day, and yet, as it may happen in such a faimly -- the celebration somehow falls out of control. Ah, gotta love those relatives ;-) and their crazy ideas! Wonderful, absolutely amusing read!

Reviewed by: Larner  ✧  Score: 2

Poor Maedhros, being the birthday boy of his large, truly troubled family! It is not an honor to be envied! And Findekano WOULD do that! Heh! A delightful chuckle of a read.