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[MEFAwards] Men -- Official Voting Ballot

1. part (24.09.2004)

“Gift horses” was my first review written before I knew that 1100 characters
are enough. Sorry, I have not the time to prune it.
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Men

Official Voting Ballot

Gondor

MeG3: Chance Meetings by Tanaqui

Chance meetings is a good story gaining impact with every sentence. Yet,
style is not as good as I would wish, the words are not invoking visions but
movie scenes. That means I follow the story and see the intended pictures
but I have not the feeling of a world around me. I think this is due to the
words used, which are mostly every-day and today's words. Additionally my
usual quibble about the Numenoreans I cannot see in brothels.


MeG7: From the Other Riverbank by Dwimordene

The most powerful writer I know. Dwimordene writes so well that I followed
her through 'From the other riverbank' and was overwhelmed by her vision. It
took weeks to blot out with time this notion of Boromir’s and Denethor’s
homosexuality. And that although I really do not think that Tolkien’s
Boromir and Denethor are homosexuals. She wrote it so believable that she
managed to change my mind for some time.

Gondor

MeG8: Hearth Companions by Alawa

Woah, that was a nice surprise. I did not like “Keepers of the Hearth “
though people I highly esteem have recommended it to me. For me it was too
conventional.

But this piece truly agrees with me. I can feel the inner thinking, the
remembrances, the cart going down through the streets of Minas Tirith. And
then I’m surprised by what she is carting down. That for me is a realistic
LotR story. Well done.

“For none should lie cold and alone until time turns them into a stranger.
Not while those fires remain.“ For me this is beautiful. I found a new
author to follow. Thanks to the nominator.


MeG10: How Many Years? by Marta

I still doubt that Denethor gives Boromir an honest answer to a question he
asked as a child, but I enjoyed the story. It is well written, has a
believable plot, and feels like cannon.

Minor quibbles: Denethor feels too serene IMO, he seems not to be the
political plotter Tolkien envisioned. For me he feels and thinks more like
an apolitical mother than a ruling father, who drives himself and others
ruthlessly. But these objections are minor points. The story itself is still
beautiful.

Gondor

MeG12: In His Brother's Shadow by Celandine Brandybuck

The description of Faramir's first meeting with Gandalf and the rendering of
his relationship with Boromir. is nicely done. Celandine Brandybuck's
Steward's Family sequence belongs to the fanfics I deem to function as my
LotR-Appendix G. I like very much the lively descriptions of Faramir's
introduction into Quenya letters or the meals in the hall.

I have some quibbles though. Faramir is told to be 14 and Boromir to be 19.
Now Faramir feels more like a hero-worshipping 10 year old not old enough to
drink wine while Boromir, who joined file & rank with 18, is with 19 already
an experienced and admired captain. I would expect 18 - rank & file, 19 -
junior officer, 20 captain, 21 - minimum actual age. But you could simply
let him start in rank and file at 14. Roman boys of noble military families
started early in the army. Thus for me the two could and should be described
as nearer in age (13 and 18). With 13 Faramir should already have also some
critical thoughts about his brother.

The talk about first love in the bath feels more like timid girls' talk than
as boisterous boys' talk. Boromir's first experiences for me are real world
experiences not Tolkien's AU experiences. For me Numenoreans, as Elves,
marry once in their life and only with love. Otherwise the Gondorian kings
could have married simply a suitable woman to produce a male heir as did so
many human males. They did not and I believe the Dunedain also were not able
to do so. Thus, brothel experiences and arranged marriages IMO do not accord
with LotR.

That Faramir ressembles his mother is fannon.

Despite these quibbles I admire Celandine Brandybuck's first try in
fanfiction immensely.


MeG20: Stargazers by Henneth Annun Writers (Altariel, Starlight, Acacea,
Fileg, Chris, Forodwaith)

Though Altariel writes best, I very much like to read the whole sequence of
Faramir’s education on constellations. The series gives a more rounded
picture and a repleted feeling. Thank you to all authors.




Poetry

MeP1: An Elegy for Elfhild by Alawa

Theoden’s feelings after the death of his wife in childbirth are described
rather subdued.

Well done in rhythm, but too long for me in conventional passages. I miss
the poetical old-English kennings. And I would have liked to see more of
Theoden’s remembrances of Elfhild herself instead of thoughts of Theoden
about his feelings for Elfhild. I do not feel that Elfhild was a person of
her own. She feels to me only as a prop to Theoden. That could it be what
she was for him, but how then she became his wife ?

“Then hall-faced I sat stern at table
as men filled their cups drank mead to her fame.”
Umh, do drink men of a comitatus to a queen’s fame who died during
childbirth ? I think they drink to a peace-weaver if she is present, but
rows of beer-rowdy men singing of a just deceased woman seems improbable to
me.

Hall-faced means stony-faced hiding one’s feelings because sitting in view
of all in the hall ?
Sounds wrong to me for Rohirrim (who would not use this kenning for sitting
stony-faced but for sitting merrily) as well as for Gondorians (who should
not have such a notion of hiding one’s grief).

Best passage for me:
“in the stable steamed warm breathing
as welcome was heard from whickering horses.
Softly then she stroked their noses,
ran her hand over rump and wither,
keen were they to carry her.
Wildly we galloped in golden mist-shroud
wind whipped hair as horses ran
free over fields followed the river
spring’s melt-water milk between willows. „



Post-WOTR

Me4-4: Light Lingering by Earmire/Nol

Up to now this is for me one of the best Forth Age stories. It has a series
beautiful scenes and good language. I like very much the rendering of the
relationship between wise and fatherly Faramir and strange Part-Elven
Eldarion who has to get acquainted with his Gondorian birth land and
heritage.

Passages I liked most:

Elboron’s reaction to Eldarion’s refusal to fight:
It was rude, nay, downright wrong, that a misunderstood child be thought ill
of for having the courage not to fight. Yes, for that was true courage. That
was nobility. That was truth.

Faramir’s remembrances of joyous hours in the library:
He remembered those days of joyous discovery, of dizzy pride and burning
shame as he read through triumph upon triumph, followed by folly upon folly,
recorded carefully in those bright, brittle pages.

The sword-dance:
But one could not watch this - this virtual ceremony of grace and speed and
liken it to anything else, much as a flash of lightning could not be
adequately described to one who had never seen it.

Faramir’s visions of sea-faring Eldarion.
On deck stood a man, tall as any elven-king, his dark hair flowing down his
back like a river of shadow. His eyes were bright with wisdom, and his face
was as beautiful as one of the Eldar, and as he came forth, clad in black
and silver, Faramir smiled, for the light seemed to come from within the man
himself. He was one with it.


Me4: Gift Horses by Jedishampoo

'How is Eowyn to get out of the Houses of Healing or escape an inescapable
future in Rohan?' was your question. And you provided her with an honourable
but seemingly dull escape, wise and eloquent Faramir. She has not really
realized his qualities when she agrees to marry him. I have never read such
a real Eowyn before. Finally a grumpy Eowyn, a grown woman with thoughts of
her own, not a girl simpering after handsome Faramir after the first
encounter.

Passages I liked:

what had Éowyn to look forward to? She would not be queen of any majestic
land, able to take her destiny into her own hands. She would return to her
woman's cage in the halls of Edoras to face the anger of her people at her
desertion, and to play chatelaine to what was left of Rohan's warriors until
her brother married or found her a suitable keeper. Life would go on as
before, while the glory of Gondor overshadowed everything she possessed.

She had snapped those reins of control, once. She had disobeyed the orders
of her king, disguised herself as a man, and had ridden to battle seeking
death. Yet she was not dead, and where had she ended up? Back where she had
started, under the care of men who urged her, ever with gentle respect, to
keep her place.

And his teeth were good, white and straight and evident of long care.
Perhaps as a husband he would pay attention to his duties and leave her
alone most of the time, to run a civilized household that kept the hay and
fleas where they belonged-- in the stables.
- love this !

Her dignity, both as a woman scorned and a woman of honor, would not allow
her to lie, to say that she loved him in return. I no longer desire to be a
queen, she added, to soothe him. A small worm of guilt wriggled in her soul
at this deception of omission, but some other small part of her was
comforted by the fact that is was not she who struggled now with unrequited
love.
- I'm grinning !

Her thoughts feel right for me and in accordance with LotR. She is very cool
to Faramir in LotR, she thinks more about Aragorn than about Faramir at
least in the beginning of their acquaintance. And when she will think about
Faramir she will dread to commit herself as to avoid another hurt. For me
you describe all this correctly and with quite some interesting ideas. Keep
it going like this. I cannot see Faramir falling for a simple minded chip of
girl. And yes I agree with fandom, that Faramir would love to have a family
life. Yet I cannot see him as the protector of a beautiful nitwit. The
beauty of Eowyn is surely important to Faramir, it is the first that strikes
him, but I think far more important to him are the thoughtful words in the
retorts of Eowyn. Not only in your story but also in LotR I had the feeling
that for Eowyn every said word is thought over before spoken. Ere she would
be silent than to say a word rued later.

First comes speech, understanding, emotion, then longing and butterflies in
the stomach. Thus I see the courtship of Faramir to Eowyn. And Eowyn will
surely need to be convinced of Faramir’s love before she will allow herself
to love. As long as she is unsure of his love she would be cold as not to be
scorned again. You wrote it all very convincingly.

She is surprised and bewildered by Faramir. And she could become even colder
to test him. But this bewilderment would also set her thinking why she is so
ruffled by his attention. Farseeing Faramir would see her antics easily as
uncertainty. But the daughter of kings, schooled by Wormtongue, would not be
unsure with a blushing face and faltering words. Nay, she would par and
attack. Only her ungentle behaviour would betray her. A princess would be
normally very well behaved to any who is of no account to her. So if she is
as nasty as she is to Faramir, for me that means, she feels troubled by her
emotions and attacks before she will show a weakness. For Faramir such a
fencing would be very refreshing indeed, here is a woman reacting to him,
and that with a vengeance. I think, he would be captured very fast. He had
not much people reacting to him strongly emotional, I believe, and Eowyn is
radiating malevolent emotion as he is radiating benevolent emotion. So
Faramir would search to be near her as often and as long as he could. He
needs a mind with which he can communicate, moreover he is in love early on.
But Eowyn would try to be far from Faramir to lessen her confusion.
Nevertheless, she could search the political marriage actively as you
describe it. Thus she would wonder why she acts so emotionally. Then she
would begin to wait for his caressing words, yet still feeling very
aggressive against him. She would try to find out how far could she go. She
could misinterpret his wanting to be near her as gentleness, a lord of
Gondor who takes it on him to goad the princess of Rohan into a better mood.
But a really unattached princess planning a political marriage would behave
immaculately well, cool and detached. Thus, she has to ponder, why she
cannot react cool and detached when near Faramir. She has to have learned
self-analysis at Theoden’s court with Wormtongue the ever-present nemesis of
the whole royal family. I think, she has to get an inclination that she
reacts to Faramir not only with exasperation but also with longing.

I agree, Eowyn would at first taken aback by his flow of words, but in the
end, bathed in this speech and becoming accustomed to be surrounded by
emotion would find delight in this speech. I would think, in the end she
would wait for to be spoken to, as being bathed in such speech is like being
caressed. And every human being likes to be caressed. I would think that
Eowyn is thirsting for caresses, as she lived an emotionally repressed life,
constantly in fear to fatally misstep and lay herself open to Wormtongue.
Although Faramir lived a life of repressed wishes, fatherly rebukes, and
war, he had the outlet of books and dreams. To me he seems much more
emotionally stable than Eowyn, who is in deep depression in the Houses of
Healing. I like the notion, that Faramir lures her back to the joy of life.
I think even this story renders Faramir's ability to woe Eowyn back to
happiness, though he here surely speaks not as beautiful as in LotR.

She surely can moreover feel ill treated by her family, I like this notion.
She would be torn between her solidarity and duty to her family and her bond
to her foster father and brother on one side and the thoughts about her
desertion from her duty on the other side because she was driven once in her
life by a need to prove herself through protecting her kin by her
battle-craft, for which she had to set her duties aside. There must also
have been a great need to be near Theoden and Eomer as the possibility of
their death, especially of 70 year old Theoden, was very large. Accordingly
she hovers around Theoden during the battle on the Pelennor.

For me your Eowyn is a strong mind despairing on her future. She is a bit
bitchy, but not overly. She is nasty, she rises Faramir’s hackles a bit. And
Eowyn is unsure, you did this beautifully. And that is just right: Faramir
should have to _think_ about her, he is reached by his mind, Eowyn’s beauty
is the icing on the cake. I would think, her bitchiness would draw Faramir
far more than a sweet-tempered blushing girl. For me she is an independent
mind thinking her own thoughts and not rendering her uncles and brothers
wishes. In potential sequels I would like you to keep her independent.
Loving but having independent thoughts and wishes !


Me5: Kinsmen by Dwimordene

From father to son, the line of Isildur has remained unbroken. Of the names
of Chieftains recorded, a full quarter of them died untimely but were able
to pass their title to their sons. This tale of the Dunedain, and of keeping
the line alive at all costs for me is not believable though it was written
very well. My problem here is that I cannot see Numenoreans to marry or
begat children without love. For me Numenoreans, as Elves, marry once in
their life and only with love. Otherwise the Gondorian kings could have
married simply a suitable woman to produce a male heir as did so many human
males. They did not and I believe the northern Dunedain also were not able
to do so.

[MEFAwards] Men -- Official Voting Ballot

Second part of story reviews (25.09.2004)
Still missing are all of Altariel's stories, my favourite author.
I am very grateful for Amnesty day !
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Men

Official Voting Ballot



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Gondor

MeG5: Courting The Lady by Celandine Brandybuck

This is a very lively and light-minded story (despite some jealousy) of how
Denethor did end up married to Finduilas of Dol Amroth. Though I have many
quibbles with the presentation of the Gondorian culture (e.g. Numenoreans
for whom partners in marriage might be chosen, china as table ware)
Celandine Brandybuck wrote a long story holding me enthralled. Many passages
agree very well with my views of ME though other passages are too
light-minded for my interpretation of the Gondorian realm continuously
nibbled at the frontiers by the Dark Enemy, steadily withering away in
numbers of defenders, and steadily loosing more of the hope for a bright
future during the never-ending battle since centuries. Yet concerning
Denethor she writes of the "good" years before despair engulfed Ecthelion's
son so I can understand her rendering of the events. Seen in total this is
one of my imaginary LotR Appendix G stories.


Gondor

MeG11: I will always be your brother by Avon

Beside of the use of the word "baby" I have no quibbles with this story. But
"baby" is for me a contemporary diminution which does not belong into the
LotR world. Aside of this the story is well crafted, evocative, haunting,
and simultaneously realistic.

Passages I liked most:

I slide wearily from my horse, no longer needing to be anyone but myself -
not steward's son nor Gondor's guard.
- well observed weariness from showing the public face.

For months I have longed for, dreamed of, being here but now it seems as
alien to me as it does to Alagos.
- well observed the feelings of strangeness when adjusting to the long left
home.

Suddenly I am indeed at home. As I embrace him I seem to remember a lifetime
of holding him -
- for me this feels right, by touching Faramir Boromir arrives at home and
remembers like situations, described with well chosen words.

and just so did he watch me with eyes as grey as a sky bitter with unshed
snow as I packed for this first campaign.
- beautiful words.

"Where is Myrnaur?" he questions, and for a moment I do not answer.

"Oh," says Faramir softly, and takes my hand.

There is a painful choke in my throat as I look down at him, this stupid,
ridiculous baby brother who can seem as adult as any of Father's counsellors
- but who now holds my hand like a child.
- feels very realistic.

We've both known since Mother died that no-one can promise to stay with you.
There are so many things I can't promise him. I can't promise I won't go
away. I can't promise that I'll be safe.
.
I rub his back, feeling the sharp bones that speak of both fragility and
maturity, and stroke his hair. Finally, I say,

"I will always be your brother."
- for me this is as haunting as it feels real.



Gondor

MeG23: Ties of Love by Avon

Boromir explains a Gondorian superstition to Pippin in a nicely rounded
story. I have no quibbles with this story. Well written, well plotted, and
perfectly structured.

Passages I liked most:

Without thinking, he gently rubbed the three of them together and twisted
them until they appeared a braid. It was a gesture that spoke of long
familiarity and Pippin nodded, eyes bright.
- well observed.

With typical Hobbit curiosity he had long since ferreted out a family tree
from Boromir and now he wiggled closer, hopeful of more.
- Hobbitry nicely captured.

He reached into a tunic pocket and pulled out three red cords. He flicked
the briefest of glances towards his brother with eyes as dark and unreadable
as storm clouds then stepped closer and began to tie the cords on once
again.

"One to tie you to life so you will never leave it."

It was a man's voice now, deeper and more certain, but the faintest tremor
still shook it. Boromir's heart ached as he looked at the black head, bent
to its task, that now stood on level with his own. So much the man and yet
still his small brother.

"One to tie you to this land so you will always return."

Faramir fumbled a little with the knot then took his time to ensure that the
cord was flat and lay smoothly beside its brother. The sun was warm on
Boromir's back and bathed the land in a golden light and Boromir let his
eyes soak in the dearly loved hills and valleys of his land. On the horizon,
the sun struck the whiteness of Minas Tirith and he narrowed his eyes
against the glare to trace its tall towers one more time.

With careful slowness Faramir was tying on the last cord and Boromir
whispered the final words along with him.

"One to tie you to those you love so they will never lose you."
- for me that is evocative, playing with my emotions through the words
selected, and beautiful.

Above its place, two red cords remained only, and they stained with the
darker red of Boromir's life..

One to tie you to those you love so they will never lose you.
One to tie you to this land so you will always return.
- and here the story finds an beautifully crafted haunting end.




Poetry

MeP8: The Hamster by Dwimordene

A very well written poem. Though it has no content to my liking I admire the
style and the prowess of the author with words.


Post-WOTR

Me4-6: My Dark-haired Love by Avon

A beautiful story. Though Eowyn is very unsure here (more than I would
describe her) I very much liked the description how she contemplates her
husband, how she ponders the differences between their personalities. I also
can see and feel by your description the bodily appearance of Faramir and
how Eowyn becomes acquainted with that.

I agree that Eowyn could feel a bit handicapped by her not so eloquent
speech, she is one who thinks thoroughly before speaking. But I think she
would soon become her old efficient and bold self again, even with her loved
husband. Moreover, the next weeks will see quite a few skirmishes between
them when they try to find out their ways with one another and what is
important to whom. Most probably Eowyn would like to test also her
battle-prowess with her husband. But today she is a newly wed young woman
who just lost her virginity. That surely can be a bit subduing.

Passages I liked most:

Such gentle hands. she looked away, warmth flushing her face in sudden
embarrassed memory.

My dark-haired love, she whispered to herself and felt warmth stirring
within her.

For a moment she simply traced the writing without reading it; exploring
each careful stroke of black, each bold and broad downsweep, each precise
and arching upstroke as she had that night explored the unfamiliar planes of
her husband's body.

Post-WOTR

Me4-7: Sufficient by Tanaqui

An interesting story showing the unusual pairing of Faramir and Legolas as
protagonists. For my taste Faramir acts and thinks too much as movie!Faramir
but I like the story for the plot invoking that a vision or presentiment of
Finduilas induced her to choose the name version sufficient for her second
born.


Me1: A House Divided by Thevina Finduilas

I liked the story about the lives of Morwen of Lossarnach and Thengel. A
well structured story with a broad vision. Morwen Steelsheen comes to life
in this story.


Me3: Captain, My Captain by Isabeau of Greenlea

This is a story that I admired in the first chapters but which I could not
follow to the end because Hethlin for my taste becomes too unrealistic.